MCKINNEY: WHAT IF DAJERRIA BECTON WAS MY DAUGHTER?

This is not a philosophical question.  For me it is very real.    I have two beautiful daughters.   Both on occasion braid their hair.   One has black skin.    Dajerria Becton is about the same age and weight as my daughter with black skin.  

  When I started watching Brandon Brooks’ video I wanted to see what was the social media uproar about.    I giggled a little at Eric Casebolt’s barrel role.    Yes, he’s fit and athletic, but a little too gung-ho.    His language was vulgar.   It made me cringe to consider him an “officer of the peace.”    Other police officers seemed to be in a tough community conflict and acted reasonable and measured.   Eric Casebolt ran around with little apparent reason.   I only heard him use vulgar language with children who had black skin.    My judgement of Eric Casebolt drifted towards a serial racist.    Then he did the unthinkable.   

Eric Casebolt grabbed an unarmed teenage girl with black skin in a swim suit by the arm.   He threw her upon a concrete sidewalk.    I watched an assault.    Dajerria Becton bore a remarkable resemblance to my daughter with black skin.    My emotions no longer were about pastoral interest.    Phileo (family) love raged through my veins.    This could be my daughter being assaulted in public.  I was enraged.

HOW COULD HE GRAB HER BRAIDS?

The McKinney police chief, Greg Conley called Eric Casebolt’s actions “indefensible,” and “out of control.”   I add some other descriptions such as appalling, abhorrent, and reprehensible.    When one of my missionary heroes, Paul of Tarsus was describing the darkest parts of our humanity he lists fits of rage such as Eric Casebolt’s in the same breath as sexual promiscuity and drug abuse (Galatians 5:19-21.)  

I was most upset when Eric Casebolt grabbed Dajerria Becton’s braids.    I’ve watched my daughters and their friends go through the pain of their hair being braided for years.    It is a special intimacy they share.    Those braids make summer fun.    They make swimming frequently manageable.   They require pain and patience to acquire.      Those braids are a sacred female trust among our African community.

How dare Eric Casebolt grab Dajerria Becton’s braids?    As he grabbed those braids I wondered if I was about to see a sexual assault.    He was stripping her of her dignity.   He was publicly humiliating her and her community.    He intruded upon an intimacy that none should approach without permission.

WHAT WOULD I HAVE DONE?

By the grace of God I was not there.   Nor was my daughter being assaulted.    Yet, the question haunts me.    I could easily see myself in such a community conflict stepping in the middle of people – trying to calm emotions and seeking peace.   I’ve done that most of my pastoral career.    Yet, I’ve only twice seen my daughter’s safety threatened.  (Both were by animals.)

I probably would have done one of two things.   I may have fallen briefly into a daze.   I may have thought I was in a nightmare.   Surely this is not real?   How could a policeman commissioned to protect and serve our community throw an unarmed female half his weight upon the cement?   I may have just stood there in shock.

The second response could have been that phileo (family) love would take over.   I think I’m about as strong and physically as large as Eric Casebolt.   I may have quickly come to my daughter’s defense.  If I came to her defense some would accuse me of a crime.

WHY?   WHAT KIND OF A MAN IS ERIC CASEBOLT?

Selfishly, I thank God that I was not in McKinney and my daughters were not at that pool party.   

Yet, the question of why haunts me.   I want to understand Eric Casebolt.    It is a question of discernment.   It takes me to painful angry places.   Yet, from those places where justice and mercy mingle freely are the places where we heal.

My first inclination was to assume racism drew out Eric Casebolt’s rage.    Maybe, he had been nurtured his whole life to fear those with black skin.    Maybe, he really felt threatened by a girl half his weight?    Yet, friends counseled me not to quickly rush to the judgement of racism.   Though Eric Casebolt’s language was crass he did not use racial slurs in Brandon Brooks’ video.    

Maybe, Eric Casebolt just never had a mom or grandmother who washed his mouth out with soap when he used such vile language?   

If Eric Casebolt is not motivated by fear of race what motivates him to behave so violently to a female child?   Did he grow up in an abusive home?   Did he see his father hit his mother?    Is it generational?   Did he see his grandfather hit his grandmother?    Is Eric Casebolt married?  Does he have kids?   Is his own family afraid of his rage?

Many European-Americans in Texas attend church.   Does Eric Casebolt?  If so, how did the preaching not sink in?   Is there something deeply wrong with his church?   Or is Eric Casebolt one of those in America with no faith.   If so, it would make my judgement of him much easier.   I hear my mentors of faith proclaim over and over again that our physical strength of manhood is to be used to provide and protect.   It is never to be used to physically harm a woman or child.    What led Eric Casebolt to such a public moral failure?

I heard Eric Casebolt be vulgar.   I saw him be cruel as her threw a child.   I saw him be cowardly as  unarmed people came to that child’s aid and he drew his gun.   What kind of a man is Eric Casebolt?

Maybe the best I can conceptualize for Eric Casebolt is that he just snapped.   A missionary colleague once told me that everyone can reach a point of psychosis if you deprive them of sleep and create enough stress in their life.     Maybe, Eric Casebolt is going through a season with no sleep and high stress that took him to becoming vulgar, cruel, and cowardly?    But if so, why did none of his friends or family tell him not to go to work on the day he assaulted Dajerria Becton?

Please give me some answers about what type of a man is Eric Casebolt.  

MY LIFE HAS BEEN PROFOUNDLY CHANGED BY ERIC CASEBOLT

Two of my five children have black skin.   I’ve watched the deep pain when my children with black  skin realize they have been falsely judged due to their skin color.  I’ve cried with them a few times.   I’ve watched my children with white skin become enraged when they stumble upon racism directed at their siblings.   

I’ve accepted a painful reality.   My son with black skin needs to be extra respectful and cooperative when dealing with police in America.   I’ve had to tell him that horrendous truth to keep him safe.

Until Eric Casebolt publicly threw Dajerria Becton I didn’t conceptualize my daughter could be assaulted by a policeman in America because of her race.

It might happen in a few African countries where corruption is high.   It would never happen in Rwanda.   Yet, I have to concede this possibility in America.   

When nightmares fill my sleep I see Idi Amin’s henchmen, Rwanda’s genocidaires, and Eric Casebolt.   He joins my list of those who used the authority of a government to assault basic human rights.    My friends and family have been in the past or could be in the future victims.

We told our daughter with black skin the messages we’ve told our black skinned son.    Don’t make fast movements.   Don’t argue.   Cooperate.    Wait until another time when you can safely confront if your conscience says you must.    

I tell my children with white skin how to deal with a police stop.    Yet, I don’t have much fear of when that happens.

Eric Casebolt has profoundly changed my fear quotient.

WHY DID MANY’S EMPATHY DRIFT TO ERIC CASEBOLT 

INSTEAD OF DAJERRIA BECTON? 

 IS SHAME AND OUTRAGE DEAD AMONG AMERICAN EVANGELICALS?

I don’t know how one can with an open Bible defend Eric Casebolt’s actions.   One of the most  shocking matters the last few days was the small number of American Evangelicals who called Eric Casebolt’s behavior sin.   Evangelicals in the past have written and spoken about the death of outrage and shame in American culture.   I concur with their theology.    Our humanity wrestles with both our dignity and our depravity.   Sometimes our depravity reigns.   When depravity reigns we wound our community.   The community should have an impulse of outrage.    When the Spirit convicts us of our sin we should have an impulse of shame.     Then the process of change and forgiveness happen.   Our community heals.

Why did many’s empathy drift to Eric Casebolt instead of Dajerria Becton?    Some have proposed that we didn’t know the whole story.   I understand that a bit.   I’m a missionary.   I know context matters.    Yet, no matter what the context throwing a child upon concrete is wrong.   Dajerria could have been my daughter.   She could have been your daughter.   Why was so many’s empathy so misplaced?

Some remark that I just don’t understand policing.   True.   I’m not a cop.   However, I’ve pastored soldiers, police, and security personnel my whole adult life.    My friends in those professions brought our community safety from those who were abusive to women and children.    Eric Casebolt is not like my brothers and friends in America, Uganda, and Rwanda’s security services.    In fact, my brothers and friends in those branches at their most measured states would use the words “indefensible” and “out of control” to describe Eric Casebolt’s actions.   

I sense a deep spiritual problem in the fabric of Evangelical America that did not express outrage at the public assault of Dajerria Becton by Eric Casebolt.

CAN I FORGIVE ERIC CASEBOLT? 

However, another deep spiritual problem also remains.   Can I forgive Eric Casebolt?

My boss, Jesus of Nazareth repeated forgiveness is one of His commands.   I must forgive Eric Casebolt.   That journey of forgiveness may last my entire life.

Forgiveness will not mean that I forget his assault on a child much like my daughter.    Nor will that forgiveness mean that I close my eyes to the systematic injustices and sins of race that haunt the American experience.    

Forgiveness will practically mean that when nightmares of Eric Casebolt awaken my sleep I pray for his good.    When I need a motivation to run a little farther or lift a little more weight I don’t conceptualize using my strength to take revenge on Eric Casebolt.    I know how evil Eric Casebolt’s assault was.    I call it sin.    Yet, I let go of the need for revenge.    I cry for justice.    I know ultimate justice will also find me guilty.   I have also done appalling, abhorrent, and reprehensible sins.    Forgiveness leads me to hope that on the Day of Judgement Eric Casebolt will kneel with me and call upon the grace of God.

The journey to forgive on this earth can lead to reconciliation.    However, that also requires the offender to recognize his sin and take responsibility.    I hope to hear Eric Casebolt make a public apology for his sin against Dajerria Becton.   I hope in that apology he offers no excuses and only a contrite broken heart.   I hope Eric Casebolt will spend years making amends to all those he has hurt.   If his assault goes to court I hope he’ll simply say, “Guilty.   My actions were inexcusable.   I throw myself at the mercy of the court.”    Those type of actions would not only heal our broken community in America they would heal Eric Casebolt.

Yet, for me I must forgive Eric Casebolt whether he repents or not.    This journey may take the rest of my life.   So help me God I will try. 

WHAT NEXT?

The social media banter and lack of empathy for Dajerria Becton has exposed some dark places in the American experience.   I can’t blame.   I must assume responsibility.     I’m going to continue to make friends with police, soldiers, and security personnel.   If God allows us to plant another church I hope those men and women who protect our community will feel welcome.    I’m going to find ways to volunteer and help.    I hope if a security personnel is near the point of snapping he’ll call me, let me pray, and he’ll listen to my counsel.

I’m going to accept the reality that America has deep systematic and generational patterns of sin related to race.    I’ll try my best to be a faithful presence in the institutions of America.   We must bring about change.

I’ll try most days to read my Bible and pray.   In the process I hope to see my own sin plus those of my community.    I pray we can find the grace to repent and forgive.

How can I not take responsibility?   After all, Dajerria Becton could be my daughter and Eric Casebolt could be my brother?